Bad Mama

September 17, 2009, 2:37 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Not really fair to write all that stuff then suddenly leave things hanging, was it?

Big Daddy is back home again. We are working on things, and so far, so good. There are a few issues that I don’t think will ever be solved, so it will be a matter of deciding if we can live with each other “as-is” in those areas. I will do my damndest to try.

The bad news is that I lost my job, and in a way that has left a bad taste in my mouth. We need me to work, even just part-time, so it has meant a whole lot of belt-tightening. Truthfully, it is a real blessing to be able to be at home the first weeks of school for Peanut’s sake, as well as my own. I can do more from-scratch cooking and coupon-clipping in exchange, no problem.

Peanut is doing well in school. I get slightly suspicious when all her teachers seek me out to tell me how much they love her and how brilliant she is, though. I don’t want to sound too cynical here, but I find that she tends to get that kind of attention because of her disability. I mean, it’s far better than the alternative, but even she recognizes that other kids that are doing well don’t get that kind of praise. I will say, however, that her direct teacher doesn’t do that, which is why I like her. She more than anyone I’ve seen that works with Peanut really truly seems to treat her like any normal kid. Not that I don’t think Peanut is fabulous, of course…

I couldn’t be happier with her school. Last night there was a class pot-luck at the school, and apparently EVERY SINGLE FAMILY was there. When does that happen ever? The level of parental involvement at this school is unreal. They said they actually had more volunteers than they had space for last year. It’s not a school full of stay-at-home moms, either. There are a lot of professionals that work in creative or flexible jobs, I think, and it’s the closest school to the downtown area. There are as many dads picking the kids up at the end of the day as there are mothers. I had to laugh at how different it is compared to where I went to school, though. The other day I parked behind a brand-new black Mercedes with two dads picking up their child, and then watched a mom with purple-streaked hair, knee-high striped socks, and Converse sneakers walk down the street with her kid. My hometown was rural agriculture and blue-collar workers, had 6000 people, and I didn’t go to school with a black kid until fifth grade and never any non-Christians. I certainly didn’t see openly gay parents or even freaky hair on a daily basis. Big Daddy and I are totally the conservative parents of the class. We have no tattoos.

She likes going to school most of the time. The first two days she was very excited. Then, while getting her ready for the third, she told me, “Mama, I know you think I like school but I really don’t.” So we had a talk about not always liking everything about school, and found out that she really just loves music class and was sad that she didn’t have it every day. She has some new friends and they’ve decided they “are going to be best friends for the rest of our lives!”

We had a little talk the other night about her “boyfriend”. You know, the one she’s had since she started preschool at age three, meaning it’s lasted longer than any relationship that I’ve had other than my marriage. He doesn’t go to the same school, and we really hadn’t seen him over the summer. I had to break it to her that he might have decided to move on, and immediately wished I hadn’t.

“But we had such romantic times together! We played together on the playground, he came swimming at Grammy’s house, we even went for ice-cream together! Could he have forgotten about me?” That’s verbatim, by the way, and you must picture it spoken in the most overwrought soap-opera tone imaginable. I had to reassure her that of course he hadn’t forgotten about her, and if he had he wasn’t good marriage material anyway. I pointed out that I did not in fact marry my kindergarten boyfriend (his name was Lyle, and he kissed me good-bye on the cheek every day until the teacher caught him and scolded us), and that was good, right? In the end, though, nothing helped except calling his mom the day after and setting up a library/ice-cream date (they are next to one another, how awesome is that?), where she was apparently reassured that they would still get married. However, when I asked if there was someone in her class she would have as a boyfriend just in case, she grinned and had an answer immediately. So much for romance.