Bad Mama


Explanations
December 27, 2007, 4:08 pm
Filed under: Home Sweet Home

1. I got my period today. WTF? What the hell am I doing breastfeeding this child ten times a day and then getting my damn period? How does that work? I supplemented with Peanut and still didn’t get it until she was seven months old.

2. Apparently, the previous owners of this house were very hairy. This is the only explanation I could think of for why they would install the bathtub plumbing the way they did (trust me, they did it themselves). You see, it must have made it so much easier to clear the hair clogs out of the tub drain WHEN YOU DON’T ACTUALLY CEMENT THE PIPES TOGETHER. They just pushed the PVC pipe pieces together under the tub and left them like that. So over time, they slid apart and caused the dirty water to leak out all over our basement floor. I was able to pull the overflow pipe and the drain pipe loose with one hand. Seriously, now I feel like I need to have every inch of pipe in the damn house inspected.

3. They used random pieces of electrical wire to wire up the master bedroom, so why should I be surprised they didn’t bother to properly plumb the bathtub? Yes, they really took whatever wire they found to wire the bedroom. All different colors, spliced together here and there in the walls. Junction box? What’s that? (No, you can’t just pick up some wire, twist it together, and wrap it with electrical tape. There, now you’re smarter than the previous owners).

4. Yes, they were morons. But then what does it say about us that we bought the house? I blame it on the inspector, but damn, I don’t think he assumed morons that big could manage to own a house. He hadn’t seen this, of course.

5. Now you know why we still haven’t remodeled the kitchen or attic. We have to get the basic systems not leaking or threatening to start on fire or explode.

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