Bad Mama

Should have thought of that
July 31, 2007, 6:25 am
Filed under: Pistachio

It’s probably not a good idea to stay at home alone in a creaky old house the night after you find out that someone you know through work was subdued and brutally raped while walking in her door the previous night.

I’m probably a little jumpy as well because I was in OB triage all evening, checking out these infernal contractions, when someone, and I’m not saying who, decided it would be fun to play with her umbilical cord, turning what should have been an hour-long-tops check into a three-hour sojourn after her heart tones took a brief dip. Then she wouldn’t hold still enough to have a heart tracing done. We decided eventually that hyperactivity = baby with plenty of blood supply and cut short an evening of fine company and ultrasound jelly. Excess contractions due to a minor stomach bug.

At least somebody had fun.


July 21, 2007, 1:35 pm
Filed under: Parenting, Peanut

The two men appeared out of nowhere, a few yards …

Mama! What is that you’ve got?

It’s my new Harry Potter book, Peanut.

… a few yards apart in the narrow, moonlit…

Mama! Look! There’s an owl on the box! He’s got a letter in his beak! Look, Mama, look!

Yes, Honey, there’s an owl on the box. He’s delivering a letter.

…in the narrow, moonlit lane.  For a second, they stood quite …

Mama! Owls don’t bring letters. Mailmen bring letters!

Well, in these books owls bring letters, Peanut. It’s just a story.

…they stood quite still, wands directed at each other’s chest; then, recognizing each other…

Mama, is that Harry Potter on the book?

Yes, that is Harry Potter.

Harry Potter has loooong fingers.

No, that’s the bad guy who is after Harry Potter. This is Harry, here on the front.

Harry Potter has glasses!

Yes, he does.

… recognizing each other, they stowed their wands beneath their cloaks and started walking briskly in the same direction.

Mama! I have to get on the potty!


 You know how it got late in the Sopranos, when you realized that they could and would kill off anybody at pretty much any time? I’m only 100 pages in, and it’s like that, except that I actually like these characters. When Peanut wanted to cuddle during chapter four, I was more than happy to join her.

May I please interrupt this partial bedrest*
July 14, 2007, 9:52 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

… to announce that my Big Girl managed to keep her training pants dry ALL DAY today, including a trip to Tarjhay and a nap?

Her desired reward? A set of Little Mermaid Big Girl underpants. Oh well. I’m still ridiculously proud, considering a week ago we didn’t manage to make it to the potty on time even once.

*Not strictly doctor imposed. Mostly due to recently developed anemia (my prenatals changed their formula since the last time I bought them–how do you call yourself a prenatal with only 400 mg of folic acid and 18 mg of iron?) leading to pretty bad fatigue. It’s not like I was a bundle of energy before, so this is hitting me hard. Plus too much walking around starts contractions all over again. Seriously, if these are only “practice” contractions, how on Earth does anyone ever not use medication during birth?


Peanut: Mama, I’m a dwarf [as in Snow White–her grandmother can’t seem to resist anything Disney]!

Bad Mama: Really? Which one are you?

Peanut: I’m Cookable! And Daddy is Towely!

Big Daddy: Cookable is apparently the one that does all the cooking, and I just got her out of the bath.

Bad Mama: Ok, so which one am I?

Peanut: Mama, you’re Grumpy!

Bad Mama: …

July 8, 2007, 4:00 am
Filed under: Home Sweet Home

1 87 year-old house with one bathroom + 1 “I’m using the BIG potty, Mama!” + 1 pregnant mama = 1 complication Mama never foresaw when choosing to buy real estate.

For Big Daddy
July 6, 2007, 3:27 am
Filed under: Love and Marriage

Today is our our tenth wedding anniversary. Who knew that during a time in our lives where we were both making a ton of stupid-assed decisions, we’d end up making one that turned out so well?

We met in early January in Park Slope, Brooklyn.  He proposed in August in Astoria, Queens, in a tiny apartment that rented for more than our mortgage is for now. After I said Yes, we went out in search of something to eat. A bar up the street was blasting music out of it’s doors, and we listened to it at the corner while we waiting for the light to change. It was Elvis, and Big Daddy started to dance with me right there on the sidewalk, to lyrics we felt matched our situation perfectly:

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can’t help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can’t help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
Take my hand, take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you

Thank you for our beautiful family, our home, and ten great years. I love you more than I ever thought possible. And not just because you humor my love of Elvis and 80’s hair bands.