Bad Mama


A good day (knock on wood)
May 17, 2007, 2:03 pm
Filed under: Disability, Peanut, Pistachio

Things around here are much, much better. Peanut still wakes frequently and needs help going back to sleep, but during the day her mood is pretty much back to normal. It would be nice if she would eat something other than buttered toast, but we can’t have everything, can we?

My dad is not doing especially fantastically with his rehab. He seems to have an unrealistic idea of how much he’s recovered, and thinks that he should be driving and out and about on his own, when in reality, he still has trouble walking.

My dad hasn’t been known for his athletic abilities for a long time, so it isn’t so shocking to see his physical decline. What is hard is the mental part. My father is/was a force of nature. He could and did speak about nearly any topic with at least some authority and a strong opinion. He could argue circles around me, and I’m not known for being particularly wishy-washy. This was a guy who did the Times crossword in pen, in order, but now doesn’t read the whole paper because he can’t quite follow the news stories. His significant other says that now when they go to restaurants, the staff doesn’t speak to him. I tell her that’s an example of ableism (or disableism), and you can tell she hasn’t ever thought about this before. I guess the mental decline might be a blessing if it means he hasn’t noticed this himself, because it’s his idea of a living nightmare.

It’s also an interesting bit of karma. He’s maybe not a full-on bigot, but that’s probably more a matter of degree. But according to my mother, he was at his most contemptuous with regard to people who were disabled, particularly if they couldn’t speak clearly or follow complex conversations well. Which now describes him.  And yes, this attitude has made things somewhat strained regarding his lovely granddaughter.

Sorry about all this pointless rambling, it’s just an issue that I’ve been dealing with lately. So on to the little nut news!

I had a prenatal visit yesterday, and it went swimmingly. My blood pressure was on the low side (as opposed to my first visit). The first trimester screen results were even better than I was originally told, and my odds for a baby with a trisomy are even lower than my odds for having another kid with arthrogryposis.  I’m gaining weight again, but not too much. And the best part was getting humored when I asked if we could get a peek at the nut with the ultrasound.

At first, it was pretty still, and I got a bit scared. Then it punched. So we looked at the legs, and after a bit of prodding, it suddenly began kicking as if it was trying to kick it’s way out of the uterus. Turns out all these little twinges of pain I’ve been having for the past week or so? Baby kicks. No where in there was the little flutter or squirm I felt with Peanut. Oh no. This kid is channelling Jean-Claude Van Damme (Did you know he’s still working? Me neither).  Not that I’m complaining. It’s so eerie now, remembering Peanut’s ultrasound at 19 weeks, compared to this one at 15. She was just floating there, legs straight, the only movement coming at the hips when she bent a little bit. We just thought she was sleeping and didn’t want to wake up.

So anyway, most research has shown that AMC caused by the mother’s immune system begins gradually between 12 and 16 weeks pregnant. The vast majority of other forms begin in the first trimester. So this is something I am not going to worry about anymore. That is not to say that I don’t still feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, but not about this.

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