Bad Mama


Pardon our dust
January 20, 2007, 6:36 pm
Filed under: Disability, Peanut

Still trying to figure this new platform out, and the “t” key is all screwed up on this computer.

 Like I said on the old blog, my primary reason for switching is password protection capabilities. I don’t want the whole thing private. I still get emails from parents of kids with AMC, or adults with it or other disabilities, and I keep hoping that someday I’ll write something so heartbreaking and heartwarming and pithy and hilarious that a powerful literary agent or editor will read it and say, “I must have her, despite her run-on sentences! Let’s get her lots and lots of money!”

I’ve been looking at the photo in the header for several months, trying to decide if indeed it was something I wanted to use. I don’t like defining Peanut in terms of her abilities or her disabilities. I don’t want to see her as that symbol. Unfortunately, the older she gets and the more she goes out in the world, the more I am reminded that many, many others don’t see her as anything other than “the kid with the walker”.  It is something that is always in the background.

It is important to me that this is talked about, even though as she gets older Peanut may not want to. People are often unable to truly empathize with a cause or situation unless they are faced with an actual person it affects. They are unable to imagine that other people’s feelings might be valid even if they don’t match their own. I am certainly guilty of these failings.  And honestly, there are some things you just wouldn’t think about until you are forced to, and that’s ok, because there was no reason to before.

It’s just that much harder to say, “but modification costs so much” or “it makes more work for everyone” when you have to say it to a mother and her little girl with a walker who are standing right there looking you in the eye. 

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8 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hi there–

I think the new header is great.

I also think that hte cost of *not* modifying is so much higher–the talents and voices that are lost or marginalized, for starters, not to mention the ways it warps the brains of people who never learn how to think about or intereact with difference. Next to which the cost of modifications are chickenfeed.

I hope you’ll be happy in your new home here.

Comment by Andrea

I like the header, too.

I think I may have to move, too.

Comment by j

Hi, I’ve never commented before, just want to say ‘hi’, to de-lurk. I admire Peanut’s and your determination. Good luck with everything!
-Jenny in Israel

Comment by Jenny

I’ve been thinking of switching for the same reason — have gotten so far as importing my archives, but not sure if I like the platform yet.

Like the header. Hope you’ll consider sharing your password with me.

Comment by jenex

ummm a password? you will sooo have to help me on this one

Comment by dana

Have you ever been put in contact with someone who has an older kid with a situation similar to Peanut’s? Like you said, it’s hard for people to understand certain things when they haven’t been in your shoes. And as a parent myself, I know it helps to hear someone say, “Oh yeah, my kid did that too, and he turned out just fine.”

I would think to have another parent that is in the same shoes as you talk about how they’ve made it and how they or their child has coped with certain issues let you know things have turned out fine would have to be helpful. I don’t know if there are any support groups or if Peanut’s ortho doc maybe knows someone and could contact them and ask them if they’d be willing to share their experience with you. (I’m hoping this is making sense. I’m definitely NOT the kind of writer a literary agent is looking for, lol.)

By the way, when you archive your old posts to here, I hope you save the one with the photo of Peanut with the baby. I already forgot who’s baby it was because the photo of Peanut is just so beautiful it was breathtaking.

~Mel

Comment by Mel

Whew. I’m not even sure I’d know how to move everything. But I have thought about doing the same thing. If you are willing I’d also love to have the password if you’d like to share.

Kidneyeye Momma

Comment by Julia

I am so lame and haven’t visited many blogs in forever. But I am back and hoping all is well for you and peanut. If you are ok with me having the password, I’d love it, but if not I understand. This is Michelle from the Madison area — Julia’s mom. 🙂 My email is Mira867 at aol dot com.

Comment by Michelle




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